Sunday, June 17, 2007
The things you figure out at dinner
1. There is a generation of "New Yuppies" and they embrace cheap ideals ... like using olive oil on leather shoes to cover scuffs and super glue to fix their purses. You can't run from being a yuppie, you can only give in.

2. Lou Pearlman does in fact look like Fat Bastard.

3. Even on Iron Chef, its a bad idea to make a dessert around the "shrimp" theme.

4. Vision Quest was a fine film that included at least one Survivor song in their soundtrack.

5. There are a whole slew of things that a guy should not do on a first day, which include (but are not limited to): announcing that you 'have always loved' the person you are on a date with, asking if the lady wants children, and then announcing that you want seven. It's uncouth to tell a woman that "we're not going to have dinner, so make sure you eat something" and then order the lady too many drinks.

6. When traveling to Great Britain, always specify that you want an automatic transmission, lest you rent from Hertz in Edinburgh and wind up in a traffic circle, with a manual transmission, driving on the opposite side of the road from what you know, left to your own ingenuity to find your way out of the city.

7. At Cold Stone Creamery, the employees are forced to sing songs when a customer orders any one of the pre-determined ice cream treats. In our opinion, this is both degrading to employees and embarassing to the person who orders the item that "makes" them all sing. We had to leave quickly after we'd purchased our ice cream.

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